


You should be scared of me

by Amber_Flicker



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (though they're very vague), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Dark, Episode: s02e23 The Race of His Life, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhappy Ending, dark!Barry, implied depression, my last three fics were fluffy, we're overdue for soul-crushing angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 20:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7068997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen hadn't been okay in a long, long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You should be scared of me

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Control by Halsey

They'd betrayed him. Every single person still left in his life had turned against him. Grief clawed at him, anger and hurt tightening around his heart with each second passing. He couldn't believe all of them would agree to this. Would lock him up. What kind of friends, family, did that? They had _no right._ They were going to die. And it wouldn't be his fault, it would be theirs for doing this to him. For _betraying him godwhywouldyoudothis_

 

"This is for your own good." 

And they turned away, even as he begged them not to, started to walk off and leave him to this, to being alone and _caged_ and abandoned and already fractured heart shattering and- no. 

 

 **No.**

 

_"You can't hold me."_

 

His hand vibrated, sinking through the glass of the wall. He didn't think too hard about how he was doing it; that was a question for another time. Everyone who'd started to leave stopped, stared, eyes all wide with shock, confusion. The need for vengeance ran through his veins. These people who he'd trusted broke that bond, and for just a second, he _hated_ them too. Wanted to leave them to suffer the fate they'd chosen _together._ His mind reeled back in alarm at that - not that it showed on the outside, all these things ran through his head in the time it took them to fully comprehend what was going on. He stepped through the glass, hands still vibrating, not to phase but in violent intent. Harry shot him with another one of those _goddamn tranquilizers_ , and he burned through the effect before they could take hold. 

"Barry, think about what you're doi-"

"Like you did when you decided to betray me? I'm done listening to you. You lost that privilege when you did this to me."

 

He sped off before anyone could reply.

***

Barry didn't let Zoom go into a monologue, didn't wait for him to poke at his wounds and make him angrier than he already was. He shot a hand into the other speedster's chest immediately, the action clearly catching him off guard. 

It wasn't that easy. It couldn't be, not with who they were. They fought far too fast for anyone to see, electricity saturating the air around them. What seemed like an eternity to the speedsters was minutes in reality. Barry knew he should be tired by now, because Zoom was faster than he was. Was it the anger? No, that couldn't be... 

Then it occurred to him. The Speed Force liked him. It was on his side. But Zoom? It didn't seem to favour him, because otherwise Barry wouldn't have been able to reach into him again. He shattered bones, tore apart organs that wouldn't kill him immediately. He couldn't make this slow, but he could still make him _suffer._

 

_Is that really what you want to do?_

 

"You murder me and you become a monster."

"That might be true." He slowly squeezed the heart, relishing the wince, the choked sound it brought. Eyes glowing so brightly yellow that it looked white, incandescent in his mercilessness. "But I'll still be less of one than you." He ripped his hand out, watching as the other speedster fell to the ground. He wiped his blood coated fingers off on the black suit. Then he picked up the body. He had to move it, leaving it would be stupid. And the only place that could properly dispose of it was STAR. He'd have to go back, deal with them. He didn't like the thought, betrayal still fresh in his mind, though his fury had waned. Barry had gotten what he wanted. 

***

 

He dropped the body to the floor, catching the attention of everyone in the cortex. He pushed his cowl back, face expressionless. And he knew somewhere that he should feel guilty right now, know he'd gone too far, but he didn't feel any of that. Numb, vindictively pleased, still somewhat grieving for his father's death? Sure. But guilt? No. Clearly it showed, or maybe it was the fact that he'd gone through with it, because everyone's faces ranged from anger to horror (though if Caitlin, Harry, and Jesse looked somewhat less upset than the others, it didn't seem to come to anyone's notice).

Barry didn't need their approval anyway. Their opinions no longer held any worth in his eyes.

He stared at each in turn, daring anyone to argue with his decision. 

And they were unsurprisingly ready to do so. He really did know his _friends_ too well.

 

_Not long ago you would've fought a decision like this too._

 

"What have you _done?_ " Iris. 

"I got rid of our biggest enemy. I don't know why you're all so upset." He did know, but he couldn't think about how wrong this was now.

"Because that's not how you deal with threats, Barry!"

He turned on Joe. "And what should I have done?! Brought him back so you could lock him up? That would never have worked. This was the only option."

"It was the only option you were willing to accept, you mean."

"Fuck you. I've killed before, why is this so different?"

"Because you never intended to before. Never wanted to. You wanted to kill Zoom, Barry. Can't you see how much you're not yourself right now? You're not even sorry."

"No, I'm not! He deserved to _die._ " The anger was bubbling up again, seizing control of him. Why didn't they understand this? They'd been around for all of these months, been directly affected by the other speedster's actions, knew how many horrible things he'd done, but Barry was the one in the wrong here? He cursed the tears threatening to spill.

This just further proved that he couldn't trust them anymore. 

"You need to stop and think about this. You can't let yourself keep spiraling downward or it's going to change you." Caitlin had slowly stepped forward, reaching out and-

 

and-

 

he couldn't do this.

 

He couldn't trust them and he couldn't trust himself not to hurt them.

 

Barry took a step forward, watching as everyone tensed. They were scared of him now. And maybe they should be. Something had broken inside of him, and he didn't think it could be fixed. He wasn't the same person anymore, like the light he'd shined with was now obscured in darkness. Everyone around him got ruined somehow- they either died because of him or left. Better to leave now, when everything between them had been destroyed anyway, then to stay and make futile efforts to rebuild their bond, only to get them killed. Because though he resented what they'd done, hated them for doing it, for betraying him, he couldn't ignore the facts- he would always care about these people. And they didn't deserve to die.

Barry Allen hadn't been okay in a long, long time. And he'd finally been tipped over the edge.

 

"There's no going back now." 

 

He ran as far as he could before breaking down. The tears finally dripped down. He'd lost everything he had in the past twenty four hours. Was this his fate? To never be happy? Or maybe it all began when he decided to be a _Hero._ Who knew if he'd even continue to do that. Barry wasn't sure he had it in him to care any more. If he even had it in him to keep living.

 

Out in the middle of nowhere, no one could hear his anguished screams.

**Author's Note:**

> There's so many alternate ways the finale could've gone though? We basically got dark barry in canon, even if it was only for a short time.
> 
> Come join me in the angst box at http://cliches-and-coffee.tumblr.com/


End file.
